I have always harbored an enigmatic aversion to anything Disney--enigmatic because I never could fathom the reason for my aversion. Like something hidden in a deep hole...I heard a sibilant voice, a bit effeminate, not sounding quite human. Tried damndest I could but no amount of prodding flushed this thing out. Maybe that's why I went to Disney World? If this thing would not come out to me, I would have to go to it. Ah, at last, my very own heart of darkness! What was I expecting to find? What sort of monster? Surely, not the Big Bad Wolf.

Epcot Center is everything it was built to be: a gigantic monument to 80s technology, and so, a dinosaur in our time, an anachronism. Sure, the new attraction "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience", the welcomed replacement for Michael Jackson's "Captain Eo", assured me that the beast was still alive. The computer generated effects was up to snuff. The 3D superb. Since this was the first ride I went to, I was set up for disappointment. Everything else sucked bean. "Body War" was unconvincing and boring. It was the worst fly-through simulation ride of the three I went to. Ho hum on the aquarium. Do people really get payed to swim in formation around a big tank full of semi-exotic fish? Epcot was as dead the animatronics in "Spaceship Earth". And what is the reward for waiting on line for each one of these lame rides--a filthily unabashed commercial by a major corporation. Mmm. Sounds real nineties. Perhaps Epcot was not moribund after all. I guess I was just disappointed that they didn't have on display the frozen head of Walt Disney.

MGM Studios is basically a mirror image of Epcot. The difference: overall the rides are better. The Muppets do their version of a 3D movie. "Star Wars" replaces "Body Wars". More animatronics. But instead of technology being the ostensible showcase, the more suitable world of movies takes the stage. In a sense, this is a stripping down to the basics. The emperor has new clothes. His real clothes. The real parade is about the selling of merchandise and the act of self-promotion. It is all about image and money.

The Magic Kingdom seems by far the most pristine of the parks. It is the oldest of them, in spirit and in fact, and so the most traditional. A blessing, perhaps. I don't recall any sponsors for the Dumbo whirlie. A haunted house. A roller coaster. A miniature railroad. Who would put their name on these things? Aside from Twilight Zone's "Tower of Terror", which was a fright maybe for the timid, there were other fear inducing no rides. And that's ok. The Magic Kingdom is not about fear or terror. It's about Mickey and Minnie, Goofy and Pluto, Snow White and Pocahontas. It's about wholesomeness, good and evil, good over evil. It is about Americana.